Childhood Programming

How Old Beliefs Impact Your Behaviour       Boy with camera taking pictures of a little girl

I’m not sure if it is a totally British thing, but growing up we had grandparents and a parent that had the notion of “children shouldn’t be seen or heard”. This is an age-old belief passed down through generations, it’s rooted in respect for our elders as well as having been a tool for discipline. Whilst over the decades this view has changed, with many people believing children should be able to express their opinion, their personality & their own thoughts, many of you, like me will have had this instilled in us.

While this phrase may seem like a relic from the past, its influence on your adult behaviour can be profound. This week my blog will explore how such old beliefs can create behavioural issues in you as an adult, often without your realisation. We’ll also delve into the powerful world of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and how it can help you break free from these limiting beliefs.

The Lingering Echoes of Childhood

Growing up with the idea that children shouldn’t be seen or heard can leave an indelible mark on your psyche. It implies that your voice is insignificant, that your opinions don’t matter, and that your presence should be passive. This belief can stifle your self-expression, making it difficult to assert yourself, communicate effectively, or express your needs.

As you navigate adulthood, these echoes from your past can manifest in various ways. You may struggle with low self-esteem, have difficulty setting boundaries, or find it challenging to assert your thoughts and ideas in personal and professional settings. This can lead to issues such as anxiety, self-doubt, and difficulties in building meaningful relationships.

Health Impact

80% of those with thyroid dysfunction are women. Culturally & societally, women have not been encouraged to express themselves, certainly less so than men who supposedly are the voice of authority! With women unable to express their thoughts, feelings & opinions, it’s hardly a surprise that their throat chakra which governs the thyroid will be out of balance.

It’s also interesting to note that IBS sufferers are around 66% women rather than men. Again not really a surprise as this is the digestive system & it is governed by the solar plexus chakra and it’s the seat of the emotion as well as the psychic, for those who are empaths, this is a double whammy.

How can we be fully balanced & happy if we cannot be our true self? On a wider scale, if you are not comfortable expressing yourself, how can you be in a position of authority without finding it a nightmare?

If you ‘shouldn’t be seen’ you are less likely to want to be in the spotlight such as being an actor or musician. You’re more likely to wear understated clothes, act in an understated way or just do whatever you can to blend into the wallpaper, all of these whilst desiring more!

Enter Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

NLP is a powerful tool for personal growth and transformation. Rooted in understanding the connection between neurological processes, language, and behavioural patterns, NLP provides a structured approach to reshaping your beliefs and behaviours. Here’s how it can help you break free from the “children shouldn’t be seen or heard” mindset:

1. Identifying Limiting Beliefs

  • NLP encourages self-awareness by helping you identify and acknowledge limiting beliefs acquired during childhood.
  • By recognizing the impact of such beliefs on your life, you can begin the process of change.

2. Rewriting Your Internal Dialogue

  • Through NLP techniques, you can replace negative self-talk with empowering language.
  • You learn to cultivate a positive self-image and recognize your worth.

3. Building Effective Communication

  • NLP equips you with the tools to improve your communication skills.
  • You can learn how to express yourself assertively, set boundaries, and make your voice heard without feeling overwhelmed.

4. Embracing Change

  • NLP promotes the idea that change is possible.
  • It offers strategies to break free from old beliefs, replacing them with new, more empowering ones.

Your Journey to Self-Expression

Whether you have been exposed to the “children shouldn’t be seen or heard” adage or not, its influence on the previous generations in your family will find its way into your life, & have an effect on your behaviour. This may be from your parents discouraging anything they saw as ‘being seen or heard’. Maybe they discouraged you from certain personality traits like being the centre of attention, your parents or teachers may have seen this as simply showing off & discouraged it because they’d been brought up to not be seen or heard, we get our beliefs from those around us, not just our parents.

Regardless of where you come from, these deep-rooted beliefs can affect your self-esteem and communication style. They can affect how you see yourself, how you view the world and what goals & wishes you have.

NLP is a universal tool that transcends borders. By embracing its techniques, you can transform your life, regardless of your background. Whatever your cultural background, NLP offers a path to rediscover your voice, build self-confidence, and foster healthy relationships.

In conclusion, the age-old belief that “children shouldn’t be seen or heard” is a relic that can unwittingly influence your adult behaviour. NLP provides a roadmap to break free from the chains of these old beliefs and embrace a more confident, assertive, and self-expressive you. So, if you find yourself trapped in the echoes of the past, take a cue from NLP and embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment.If you need help to change these deep rooted beliefs, give me a call or book yourself a free 30 min call with me, we’ll be able to get a handle on how your beliefs are holding you back & what we can do to transform them. Book now

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