Coping In Lockdown Number 3
How you doing? Are you ready for a meltdown at the thought of a third lockdown? Many people are not in a good place right now, I’m not exactly thrilled myself, it’s my birthday this month and I have to be honest, I was looking forward to maybe a family get together or seeing a friend or two at a distance, sadly that is all off the table now.
Feeling Negative
I was lying in bed the other night, thinking about the fact that at midnight, instead of Cinderella turning into a pumpkin after being at a fabulous ball, we’d all be stuck at home, then as my thoughts turned to my birthday plans being ruined, it struck me that actually, I’ve had worse birthdays! My 21st was a disaster, not to mention an emotional rollercoaster as I swung from being upset and angry to trying not to care and pretending it was ok, so that I did not make my boyfriend feel bad! I was upset because the clutch had gone on the car, my then boyfriend had not got me a present or even a card, on top of which I had to pay for lunch as he claimed to be skint & the take-away for dinner was stone cold by the time the delivery driver found us! I was only 21, so cut me some slack, I know it was all material! So actually this year’s birthday will be a joy! I have my lovely partner who always knows how to make me laugh, to find the fun in things, who always finds a way to make things great, as well as always finding the positive aspects of not so positive events. I can Zoom or do stuff with online such as an escape room or murder mystery with our lovely friends and family. So, we can’t go out to dinner, we can’t go to the pub, nor can we be in the same room as our friends and family but there will be other birthdays, there will be other occasions so what the heck!
Yes, I too can be hit by the negativity bug, I generally don’t stay there though, I actively work to spin it into something more positive.
Reframe Those Thoughts
Today I worked with a client, I asked if there was anything else they wanted to work on and they said ‘no, that’s all good thanks, until something goes wrong then I may need you again’! That got us onto a discussion of perspective and having a positive mental attitude, now that does not mean you need to be an irritating Pollyanna type person, who is annoyingly positive, but if you see something as being negative that’s what it will be, if you can find a positive angle to the matter, then that is the experience you will have. There is negativity, realism, positivity, and Pollyanna behaviour, these shades of grey are all relevant, but they can make life much harder or much easier, so instead of focusing on what you do not have or can’t have, reframe your thinking to find solutions, to acknowledge it sucks but to find a positive angle, you’ll feel better for it, not to mention it will be more bearable than it being all doom and gloom.
Whatever life throws at us, if we are able to deal with it in a positive way rather than seeing it as the end of the world, it has less ability to overwhelm us or to bring us down, that is what separates the victor from the victim in life. It will still hurt and it will still be hard, it simply will not impact as much and you will bounce back much more quickly because of it. Take a look at people around you, notice how they react to adversity, this is a great way to model yourself into that person!
Good luck, see you on the other side of Lockdown.